Is It Time to Leave Lindsay Alone?

I’m certainly as guilty as the next guy when it comes to trashing on Lindsay Lohan, but after watching the fake eHarmony ad she did for Funny or Die, and after watching the interview she did with Ellen Degeneres, I think it might be time to give the girl a break.

In my Lindsay Lohan vs. Allison Stokke piece, I wrote that, “the girl who hasn’t done anything worth talking about since she stopped filming Disney remakes seeks out the press in any way she can.” And, looking back on that, I think it was unfair. She may be careless and reckless in caring for herself as a person and in caring for the image of her personal brand, but I think the paparazzi are the ones seeking her out, and not vice-versa.

I am a total geek for child stars who totally fuck their lives up and then turn shit around. I don’t think it’s too late for Ms. Lohan to turn in a great second act in her career, and contrary to what I may have said in the past, I do hope that she is able to pull it off. She’s a human being, and who am I to wish bad things on her?

[Thanks to Pink is the New Blog for linking up the YouTube video, and to Buzzfeed for linking up the Funny or Die clip.]

Geek Force Utterz 140: Poetry Reading

In which ECC discusses the poetry reading he attended last night at Lesley University, the literary journal he saw on display there (http://www.tuesdayjournal.org/), and how both of those things inspired him.

DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART ONE is a Road Movie

According to Harry Potter himself, Dan Radcliffe, the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be “a road movie.” The Leaky Cauldron has all the details from a recent issue of Empire Magazine. Here’s a snippet from producer David Heyman:

[I]n the end I think they’ll be less edited from this film than films past because we have the freedom of making two films and I think it’s going to be fantastic. ...There’ll be a lot of action, a lot of adventure, and it’ll be an ending very true to the books that Jo’s (Rowling) written.

Scans of the full Empire article are available here

Schwarzenegger to Appear in TERMINATOR SALVATION (Sort Of)

It turns out that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will appear in the new Terminator flick. Kinda. Sorta. Here’s Variety on the subject:

A body-cast mold of Schwarzenegger, created when he first appeared as the muscle-ripped cyborg, provided the basis for a digital-effects version of his famous character. The figure appears in Terminator Salvation as a living, breathing actor.

I, for one, am very happy to hear this. While I look forward to seeing Christian Bale take the series in a new direction, I hate when film reboots don’t acknowledge the tradition from whence they came.

How about you? Does this news make you feel any more or less excited for Terminator Salvation?

Strawberry-Flavored Gummy Bacon

We here at Geek Force Five are huge fans of all things bacon, and if you don’t believe me then you obviously haven’t read Larry Clow’s in-depth Guide to the Bacon Universe. But, ladies and gentlemen, we do have to draw a line somewhere. And bacon-shaped products that don’t taste like bacon—that’s where we draw the line.

The ThinkGeek product page for this tries to make these strawberry-flavored strips sound cool—“[W]hen folks come in, take a strip out, lament how you just don’t have time to cook it, and then eat it anyways!”—but this is just lame. Agree or disagree?

[Thanks to Geekologie for linking this up.]

Next Wednesday on LOST: The Variable

Okay, let’s be honest: the only good thing to come out of last night’s Lost recap special was the promo for next week’s 100th episode extravaganza, “The Variable.” Right? I mean, did anyone out there actually stay awake through the whole thing? I didn’t even get the chance to see this trailer live, because the travesty that preceded it put me to sleep.

Anyway, thanks to CarLost for encoding this and zipping it up to YouTube for us.

Geek Force Utterz 139: Easier

A couple of days ago, I spoke about my decision to remove episodes of Geek Force Utterz from the homepage of Geek Force Five. Then, a listener’s comment made me rethink the way I did things, and I decided to make one very small change to the Website’s backend that would, in the end, make managing my site much easier.

10 Hilarious Attempts at Guitar Solos (Video)

In response to this Guitar World article about the 100 Worst Guitar Solos, Best Week Ever writer Dan Hopper compiled a video of 10 Hilarious Attempts at Guitar Solos. I don’t know what it says it about me, but the first three or four songs here are favorite songs of mine. Weezer, the Diviynls, Oasis, and Sheryl Crow? Yeah, the guitar solos may be silly, but the songs themselves are the pure, unadulterated pop bubblegum goodness that make my world go round.

What say you, Fivers? Can you think of a particularly hilarious guitar solo that Mr. Hopper hasn’t covered here?

How to Become Batman

Newsarama has an article about the findings in E. Paul Zehr’s Becoming Batman: The Possibility of a Superhero, and it’s fascinating. You can buy the book here, or read Newsarama’s piece here.

Here’s an excerpt:

Matching Batman’s strength might very well be the easiest of your endeavors, according to Zehr, but this will take some time. Power training with weights every day, and knowing what you’re doing, you would need three to five years to reach your maximum physical strength capacity… But Batman is more than muscle-bound. He’s a master of judo, tae kwon do, ninjutsu and perhaps a few more martial arts. To master these, Zehr said, Batman would need an additional six to twelve years of training.

So, it’s going to be a long road. But if anyone can do it, dear reader, it’s you. Right? Right! Now, get to work.

The Illusion of Going Green

PHOTO: happy earth day! on Flickr by love-janine CC BY

As Earth Day 2009 neared, eco-chic took over everything from entire cable networks Even producers of Jon & Kate Plus 8, the antithesis of green living and population control claimed the family was “going green” in their own very special, solar panel-clad Earth Day episode. What they fail to mention is the energy expeditures of producing the show far outweigh the ecological reductions involved. That and the family of 10 constantly uses styrofoam plates and multiple washing machines.

Water bottles have gone aluminum. Soleil Moon Frye is selling eco-friendly baby clothing online. Even Ed Begley Jr. now commands his own reality show on Planet Green. And then there are the recycled shopping totes.

While I spend my day job teaching, the domestic geek inside of me has been slowly breaking free for years. I delight in grocery shopping, cookbooks, dinner music, coupons, and aprons while cleaning. I aspire to be a green domestic goddess. However, while I cook from the Veganomicon on a regular basis, I also admit to having eaten a McGangBang.

This juxtaposition is enough for anyone to call “hypocrite” on my organic buying, yet junk food loving lifestyle. While the domestic geek fills her grocery carts with locally grown produce and items like polenta, I think nothing of a quality hot dog at a Mets game I’ll drive 5 hours to attend. I have eco-friendly dishwashing detergent, counter wipes, laundry supplies, designer Vera Bradley market totes, an even a “green” debit card made from recycled plastic. But in my quest to buy all these things, I somehow did just that. I bought things, a lot of things, and I keep buying them just as those targeting my domestic geek demographic want me to.

I suppose its very American of me to fill my cupboards with as many green products as possible, creating the illusion of “green,’ but what I’ve found it that in my quest I, and other Americans have purchased more than not buying anything at all.  I already had old bags I could have easily brought to the gorcery store. In fact, I’ve been saving and reusing large shopping bags for years. But now, I need to carry specific bags for specific stores—and even Wal-Mart sells them. Pot. Kettle. Black.

I’m not saying that is bad to actually care about the environment. I truly do and often incorporate it in the classroom.  If I could afford a Hybrid, it would be mine. However, my current car would still be on the road eating gas, once some other owner drove my Honda off the used lot. While the Hybrid would truly be the yuppie, statement-making car I have always wanted, it would also be exactly that, another car. I’m better off riding the vintage bike I bought off of Craiglist.

While my pantry looks like the Wild Harvest section of Shaw’s, I wonder how many recycled bags the purse loving, grocery toting side of me will need to feel truly “green.” My fiancé even came home from the CitiField team store with his own recycled Mets tote. We have more Sigg bottles than we had plastic ones. I suppose geeking out on green is good in a way; it does show that I care. However, now that my closets are brimming with a crinkled plastic tote party, I wonder at what expense.

Jillian Tremblay is an English teacher, writer, and new media enthusiast from Derry, NH.