Not Your Average Joe

by Jeremy Couturier | Wednesday, August 5, 2009

By now you’ve got to be aware that G.I.Joe:The Rise of Cobra is set to hit the theaters, although the promotional push is not on par with the other Hasbro toy inspired franchise, Transformers. At one time these two titans of molded plastic even starred in a comic book together, but Joe seems to be the one right now who is a bit of a question mark to the uninitiated. What is up with this somewhat silly looking, spastic, ninja-filled, sci-fi, military-esque motion picture? Shawn Lampron already made note of the lack of screening for critics, so is this a sign of Paramount waving the surrender flag? With 170 Million dollars in production and promotional costs, why can a film that appears tailor-made for sequels not getting the buzz out? Could it be that all little boys of 80s past and the little boys of present all know one thing is true? That G.I. Joe will kick ass, and all you crusty, bitter critics can pay like the rest of us. Or will this movie be totally FUBAR? I will attempt to get you into the know, because knowing is half the battle. (Didn’t see that one coming did you?) It’s time to get debriefed!

Government Issue Joe has been a toy line since 1963, when Stan Weston pitched the idea to Hasbro as a male military version of Barbie. I won’t go into the early years of Joe except to note that the infamous Kung Fu Grip was introduced in 1974, the year I was born. Coincidence? I think not. That and Joe looked like Jonathan Frakes from Star Trek: The Next Generation. (Make it so Joe)

After a few years of absence from the toy shelves, Hasbro went back to the drawing board. Following the success of Kenner’s Star Wars action figures, Joe was brought back in a much smaller 3 and ¾ “ size. While not up the the “stature” of his 12” predecessors, Joe now was perfectly sized for the addition of vehicles and play sets. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero was born, featuring a large and diverse cast and a new enemy: terrorist group Cobra. So naturally Joe was now a covert anti-terrorist team, assigned to defend humanity from Cobra, who, yes, wanted to rule the world. You think Cobra Commander listened to Tears for Fears? I do.  While the Soviet threat would pop up here and there it was always Cobra who would be the root of all evil. The Joes would have the latest and greatest advances in weaponry and vehicles, mixing cutting edge prototypes with true to life military issue. I was at the impressionable age of 8 and ready to move past my collection of green army men. This was the equivalent of an atomic geek bomb and was a huge moment in toy history for myself and my brother. G.I. Joe became a fixture of near obsession for a greater part of the 80s. If there were chores and some menial task that had to be done, Joe was the dangling carrot. Fitting that a military themed toy would instill discipline in such young boys. I’m not sure this was Hasbro’s plan all along or just taking my parents for every last dollar they had. Just like Bogie in Casablanca I thought to myself, this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. To my delight, there was also so much more to come.

Hasbro pitched the idea to Marvel Comics to produce a monthly series that would launch alongside the toy line. For a kid with a natural born toy fetish and an equally obsessive thirst for comics this was heaven. G.I.Joe: A Real American Hero ran for 155 issues until 1994, which made it one of the longest running series based on a toy franchise ever. The singular driving force was writer (and sometimes artist) Larry Hama, who penned the vast majority of the issues. Hama, born in America and of Japanese descent, served in the United States Army Core of Engineers from 1969 to 1971, during the Vietnam War. It was there he became a firearms and explosive ordinance expert. Hama was also something of an actor, and appeared in episode of MASH. During the 70s he was an assistant to the legendary EC comics artist Wally Wood and eventually worked for Marvel, most notably making his debut on the Iron Fist title, as a penciler.  While as an editor at Marvel,he pitched a Nick Fury spin off series about a special missions group called Fury Force. Jim Shooter, editor-in-chief at the time, offered him the Joe series after every other writer turned it down. Hama used many ideas from the Fury concept with Joe. He also utilized his extensive knowledge of military terms and tactics, Eastern philosophy, martial arts (of which Hama was a practitioner) and his own personal experiences during wartime. This gave the series some credibility and depth, and a soldier’s perspective that only a veteran like Hama would have. Not that the series was a gritty war comic. It had some gritty elements, alongside dynamic almost sci-fi concepts.  The costume designs were sometimes throwaways from the Village People and the nicknames were somewhat dubious in nature. (An arctic trooper named Snow Job, you say?) Overall it was grounded enough in reality to make the more fantastic elements that much more plausible. Naturally it would never be an issue to the core fans, young boys. The vehicles and weapons that the Joes and Cobra utilized were the major selling point for Hasbro, as much as they were for Kenner’s Star Wars toy line. I give credit to the series for devoting time in developing the characters and creating story arcs that were above and beyond the norm. You got know these characters and this made the toys a physical extension of the storyline. Additionally Hama created many positive representations of ethnic groups and especially female characters in particular, who were every bit as capable soldiers as their male counterparts. I could go for days about the massive cast in the Joe comic series but let’s just say every single military specialist had a Joe representative at one time or another. Even WWF wrestler Sgt. Slaughter and Chicago Bears player William “The Fridge”  Perry were honorary members. Hama also had a action figure, named Tunnel Rat, that bore his likeness. Additionally he wrote many of the biographical cards that were on the back of the packaging. It was ironic that Hama would later go on to edit the critically acclaimed Nam series of the mid to late 80s, a war comic at the other end of the spectrum of Joe. 

G.I. Joe was the first comic book that I collected without fail, and I would wake up mornings to find the latest issue that my father got for me sitting on the kitchen table. It was like Christmas on a monthly basis. This comic would fuel my passion for drawing and storytelling, and I spent countless hours doodling my favorite characters on whatever book cover or pad of paper I could find. 

Issue number 21, billed as the most unusual Joe story ever, featured the commando Snake Eyes on daring rescue mission of Scarlett. The entire issue was without word balloons and sound effects, and cemented Snake Eyes as a fan favorite. I really began to see the potential of the medium for the first time. Hama demonstrated some appreciation for storytelling and sequential art and remains a highlight of the run. Later I would outgrow the book, as the quality and content were no longer appealing to a growing pre-teen. There is no doubt in my mind that this series made a lasting impression on Gen-Xers, and that many will be in attendance for the premier of the movie alongside their kids.

It was in 1985 that Sunbow Productions produced the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero animated half-hour show.  Japanese animation studio Toei Animation would bring the series to life, as well as the Transformers and Jem. Sunbow also were well know for producing The Great Space Coaster. (Gary Gnu Anyone?)

While the comic series had some notion of being based in reality, the cartoon was geared strictly for kids and was unintentionally amusing for many reasons. Consider the opening credits.

It’s like the equivalent of bumper cars, where you have both sides engaging with deadly intent but everyone escapes unscathed. Everyone either ejects, ducks, dodges or bails. Well maybe there were some bruised egos and bit of self loathing (looking at you Cobra Commander), but pretty much no one ever died or even got shot. There was the dramatic arm grazing or the glancing blow to the back of the head (Judo Chop!). Come to think, my strongest recollection was the Joes and Cobra running straight into each others gunfire chanting “Go Joe!” or “Cobra!” I think they all used lasers with color-coded beams like in Star Wars. It’s pretty amazing that a terrible tragedy like a fatality did not occur. That would mean war wouldn’t it?  Yes, it’s a kids show, so I don’t think it would be appropriate to go all Saving Private Ryan on some 10 year old who just wants to play with his action figures while watching TV.  Still its laughable and cringe inducing at the same time, considering how faithfully I watched this program after school. Going along with the non-violent, all American, anti-terrorist theme were the good intentioned PSAs that ran at the end of the show. Pretty standard don’t talk to strangers business. This is of course where the infamous “and knowing is half the battle” line comes from. Of course Fensler Films recognized the humorous potential in these clips and produced these disturbingly hilarious remixes.These are probably NSFW, or your sanity for that matter. Who wants a body massage machine?....and go!

Sunbow had dismal results with the Transformers and My Little Pony animated films, and the planned G.I.Joe movie would end up being released direct to video. There would be another animated series by D.I.C. but honestly, we don’t even need to go there. It made Sunbow’s version look like Akira.

So what about the movie? That’s the real topic here, because from the sounds of it Paramount is investing heavily in this potential franchise.  That’s quite a risk.  Stephen Sommers, of The Mummy and Van Helsing fame, is directing. This seems like a good fit considering the overall tone of his films, and his experience with big event pictures.. He is quite experienced with the FX, although much of it can be gratuitous and cheesy. Considering the source of the flim and the PG-13 rating, this is a solid if predictable choice. I was pleased to hear the Larry Hama was brought in as a consultant, and makes a cameo as a NATO general. I heard how he tried his best to guide the production to be faithful to the original comic, but that there were consessions to modern times. I think this is reflected in the somewhat generic uniforms worn by the Joes and Cobra. Overall I am not a particular Sommers fan, but also don’t especially dislike him either. He has that meh factor. What actually got my interest was the better than average casting.

Channing Tatum, as Duke, and Marlon Wayans, as Ripcord seem like an uninspired duo. Duke and Ripcord were never that interesting to begin with. I imagine they will serve the purpose of giving the audience someone to identify with as they are the new recruits. Wayans is, as Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News put it, a human Jar Jar Binks. Tatum seems like your typical vanilla hero, which pretty much sums up Duke. Not great picks but serviceable.

Rachel Nichols as Scarlett and Ray Park as Snake Eyes are the couple of the movie. Nichols is a striking blond turned red head for this role. Scarlett was a strong character in the comic series, a master of disguise and a naturally fiery personality. Nichols seems a good choice in what is the lead female role for the Joes. She’s a capable actress and from all accounts looks the part.  I will say Ray Park was born to play Snake Eyes, and I was excited to hear that Darth Maul would be donning the visor of the Joe’s master ninja/commando. Snake Eyes is THE fan favorite of the series and far and away the most interesting character.  During a training exercise on a helicopter Snake Eyes face was horrible burned while saving Scarlett. His vocal cords were rendered useless, and the silent masked soldier was born. He was the guy could never speak, but everyone wondered what he was thinking. Snake Eyes and Scarlett’s relationship was a big part of Hama’s comic, and I’m hoping this aspect is explored. Ray Park is a great martial arts performer and I expect his portrayal of Joe’s ultimate soldier to a be a highlight of the movie, if not THE highlight. Good casting choices on these two important roles.

I give even more props to the casting of the members of Cobra. If you want to make your heroes looks good then the villains have to bring the EVIL. The Baroness and Destro are essentially the Cobra couple. The Baroness, played by Sienna Miller (Factory Girl), is a Cobra spy and apparently now a sister of Cobra Commander. I think Miller was a decent choice for this femme fatale, and the form fitting black leather outfit she wears will be a star of its own.  Christopher Eccleston (Dr. Who) was terrific choice for arms dealer/weapons designer Destro. The only member of Cobra with some sense of honor, and a ruthless businessman, Destro was also profits first. He also had the infamous Beryllium steel mask, only second in coolness to Snake Eyes. Destro’s connections with Cobra seemed to be mostly tied with his relationship with the Baroness. Eccleston has been a solid performer in over the last two decades and he brings a credibility to this role. Do I have to mention he was also the ninth incarnation of Doctor Who?

Dennis Quaid (Enemy Mine...boo-ya) as Joe Commander Hawk was another solid casting choice. Quaid is consistently good and has the chops, but probably doesn’t have much to work with as Hawk. There are only so many variations of gruff one man can play. However I cannot deny the 80s connection that Quaid brings, and c’mon man he once spent an entire movie inside of Martin Short.
   
I don’t know much about Lee Byung-hun, the Korean actor who plays Storm Shadow. This can only add more mystery to this Cobra assassin. In the comic series, Storm Shadow was in the same Long Range Recon Patrol as Snake Eyes in Vietnam. After the tragic death of his family, Storm Shadow invited Snake Eyes to study ninjitsu in Japan. I’m not sure how the movie will play this out but they are essential blood brothers, made enemies by shady circumstances. Fans will be eager to see their on screen face off. There hasn’t been much quality ninja action on screen lately and this would seem ripe with exciting possibility.

Oh, Cobra Commander, we haven’t forgotten you. Joseph Gordon-Levitt seems to be making a good name for himself post 3rd Rock from the Sun. I thought this role needed someone a bit offbeat and Gordon-Levitt fits that bill. This indie mainstay will play the man with the underground lair who wants to take over the world. Cobra Commander has issues, from his screechy voice and sometimes Colonel Klink-like leadership skills. The movie has linked him to Duke, and made him the brother of the Baroness. This is fine because CC always had a convoluted back story in the comics. As long as they get the monomaniacal tone down, I will be pleased to see what Gordon-Levitt brings to the table. Even if he won’t be wearing that totally inappropriate KKK-like cowl (a truly what were they thinking moment).

This movie will not be Citizen Kane, or Apocalypse Now. It is straight-up popcorn fluff with a heaping serving of tongue and cheek. Take it or leave it, there will be explosions, cool gadgets, over-the-top performances, and millions of thirty-something men venturing forth from their mom’s basement into stark daylight to see this movie. Kids will say “cool” every 10 seconds. The balance of the universe will be restored. Or this movie will be up for more Razzies than any other film in history. Either way, another childhood memory of the 80s has made it’s way onto the big screen. Thank you Hollywood for making me feel both young and pathetically old all at the same time. I am eagerly waiting an adaptation of My Little Pony…

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