That’s No Moon, It’s a Log of Meat - A Bacon Explosion Challenge
PHOTO: Bacon Explosion on Flickr by Roger Smith CC BY-NC-ND
When it comes to finding beauty in the wrongness and food, bacon has to be involved. Let’s be honest, people don’t love bacon because of its health benefits. You can’t even fake it with turkey bacon. To that end, I present the “Bacon Explosion!” Never before has breakfast meat brought such a nightmare of horribleness upon this earth.
It makes me wonder not only who would come up with something this delightfully evil, but also why someone would choose to follow the instructions and actually make it. I won’t even entertain the thought that someone has eaten it. I have to believe that the few people who actually put this in their oven and were able to ward off the gluttonous demons who came pouring out of the Hellmouth that subsequently opened in their kitchen, died of heart attack immediately upon smelling its greasy odor.
What say you, Fellow Fivers? Are you braver than me? Willing to take this challenge? Have you found something even more intense? Speak unto us that we may know.



Comments On This Article
E. Christopher Clark says:
I’m actually committing to trying this, right here and right now. What the hell! You only live once, right?
On a related note, a reader just sent me this link which says that the guys who invented the Bacon Explosion now have a book deal.
phil says:
someone was telling me about this and i swear i have to try this at least once, i heard one slice has like 5000 calories
Shawn says:
Is it wrong that I was simultaneously salivating and feeling waves of disgust as I read how to make it?
E. Christopher Clark says:
@Shawn - No, it’s not wrong. I think that was the intention.
@Phil - Someone should make this and bring it to a New Hampshire Media Makers meeting. I bet we’d get at least a few takers.
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