Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan Are Such Dicks

I once thought of Kevin Smith as my favorite filmmaker. That’s certainly not true anymore, but I still love what the guy does. But man, he is a sucker for punishment. If he thought he and his production house had a hard time marketing a film titled Zack and Miri Make a Porno, what does he think is going to happen by calling his latest A Couple of Dicks? Sure, this one stars Bruce Willis, but I don’t think that Bruno’s presence as headliner is really going to make that much of a difference. They aren’t going to get a poster hung anywhere with that title. It’s a shame, because it’s a great title, but it’s just true.

Anyway, the photo above, which comes to us courtesy of Accidental Sexiness (by way of News Askew) is quite promising. I love the looks on their faces. As the boys at News Askew put it, this pic “OOZES character.” At least I think so. What about you?

Geek Force Utterz #065 - Commute as Adventure

How many things have to go wrong during a morning commute before a curmudgeon with anger issues loses his cool and lets loose all of the hot air in his system? Find out by listening to today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz. You can do so by listening to the embed above, or by visiting Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #063 - You’ve Got to Choose

Yesterday, I announced that Apple and View Askew would be leaving my Geek Force Five and that they would be replaced by Harry Potter and 01824 (my new text-based Webisodic). Reaction has been mixed, of course. Why give up View Askew, a production house that is still churning out films, for a franchise (Potter) that will only be newsworthy for a brief while longer, now that there are no new books coming out and only three more films? Why stop talking about Apple, a proven traffic-driving topic, to tell stories about a boring suburban town? And, if you’re going to make a change, why not go more generic with the topics and allow for greater flexibility and eliminate the need for big changes like this altogether?

Today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz aims to answer those questions, or to at least begin to. As always, you can listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Silent Bob and Steve Jobs Resign from Geek Force Five

Over the weekend, I tearfully accepted the resignations of two of the founding members of my Geek Force Five.

1. Steve Jobs is pulling Apple out of the GF5, citing the declining importance of this particular Apple geek to the company’s plans for world domination. And...
2. The man known as Silent Bob has opted to retire from active duty after suffering through the public humiliation of his latest film breaking his personal best at the box office, but only by the slimmest of margins (i.e., the seven bucks I spent on my ticket).

One of the vacant spots has already been filled, and an announcement about the phenomenon stepping in is forthcoming. However, we’re doing something somewhat different with the other vacancy. For the first time ever, we will have a place as a member. I know that sounds strange, but consider that the literary agent who rejected my novel last year specifically pinpointed my ability to write about place as a strength. More on that development is forthcoming as well.

This is sure to be an exciting week in the history of the Geek Force. Please do stay tuned for more as it happens.

(And please rest assured that we’ll still offer Apple and View Askew coverage from time to time. We’re just moving them to the Reserves section to give some of my other obsessions a chance to shine.)

Geek Force Utterz #043 - A View Askew Column?

We’ve started columns for Apple (The Cider Press), Nine Inch Nails (NIN Oeuvre Blog), Marvel Comics (Marvel Mythos and Media), and Lost (Spoiling Season Five), but we still haven’t gotten around to doing any sort of regular feature on the fifth member of our Geek Force Five, View Askew Productions. Today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz has me wondering what to do about that. Listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #037 - See Zack and Miri

Long-time Kevin Smith/View Askew fans will appreciate how awesomely fitting it is that the topic of Geek Force Utterz #037 is Smith’s latest flick, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. In today’s episode, I talk about why you should see the flick if you haven’t already. You can listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #033 - Zack and Miri Box Office

Zack and Miri Make a Porno came in second-place at the box office this weekend, behind only the third installment of the behemoth High School Musical franchise. In today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz, I talk a bit about what I believe might very well be one of the biggest openings for a Kevin Smith film ever. And then I get cut off, thanks to either bad cell phone coverage, bad luck, or both. (More about the bad luck at the beginning of the call.)

If you’d like to listen to what I managed to record before the ax of cell phone dead-space came down, you can listen via the embed above or listen right on Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #032 - Zack and Miri Thoughts

On Saturday afternoon, November 1, I took some time off from grading papers to schlep on down to the local multiplex for a showing of Kevin Smith’s latest film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. This episode of Geek Force Utterz is all about my initial reactions to what I think will go down as Smith’s most successful film to date. As always, the call is embedded above for your listening pleasure. And if you can hear it there, don’t fret: it’s available directly on Utterli.com, too.

Geek Force Utterz #026 - Getting Busy

I recorded today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz this morning on my way to back-to-back doctors’ appointments. It’s maybe a bit more babbley than usual, but definitely worth a listen. I talk about why you should be watching the Making of Zack and Miri Make a Porno videos that Kevin Smith and company are putting out and about why things might be kind of slow around here over the next week.

Can’t see/hear the embed above? Listen to the call on Utterli.com instead.

Geek Force Utterz #025 - Entertainment as Reward

In today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz, I talk about why I’m happy that new episodes of Lost won’t premiere until late January or early February. And if you can’t see/hear the embed above, and you absolutely have to hear what I’ve got to say on this matter, remember that you can listen to this call over at Utterli.com, too.