Geek Force Utterz #063 - You’ve Got to Choose

Yesterday, I announced that Apple and View Askew would be leaving my Geek Force Five and that they would be replaced by Harry Potter and 01824 (my new text-based Webisodic). Reaction has been mixed, of course. Why give up View Askew, a production house that is still churning out films, for a franchise (Potter) that will only be newsworthy for a brief while longer, now that there are no new books coming out and only three more films? Why stop talking about Apple, a proven traffic-driving topic, to tell stories about a boring suburban town? And, if you’re going to make a change, why not go more generic with the topics and allow for greater flexibility and eliminate the need for big changes like this altogether?

Today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz aims to answer those questions, or to at least begin to. As always, you can listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Silent Bob and Steve Jobs Resign from Geek Force Five

Over the weekend, I tearfully accepted the resignations of two of the founding members of my Geek Force Five.

1. Steve Jobs is pulling Apple out of the GF5, citing the declining importance of this particular Apple geek to the company’s plans for world domination. And...
2. The man known as Silent Bob has opted to retire from active duty after suffering through the public humiliation of his latest film breaking his personal best at the box office, but only by the slimmest of margins (i.e., the seven bucks I spent on my ticket).

One of the vacant spots has already been filled, and an announcement about the phenomenon stepping in is forthcoming. However, we’re doing something somewhat different with the other vacancy. For the first time ever, we will have a place as a member. I know that sounds strange, but consider that the literary agent who rejected my novel last year specifically pinpointed my ability to write about place as a strength. More on that development is forthcoming as well.

This is sure to be an exciting week in the history of the Geek Force. Please do stay tuned for more as it happens.

(And please rest assured that we’ll still offer Apple and View Askew coverage from time to time. We’re just moving them to the Reserves section to give some of my other obsessions a chance to shine.)

Geek Force Utterz #043 - A View Askew Column?

We’ve started columns for Apple (The Cider Press), Nine Inch Nails (NIN Oeuvre Blog), Marvel Comics (Marvel Mythos and Media), and Lost (Spoiling Season Five), but we still haven’t gotten around to doing any sort of regular feature on the fifth member of our Geek Force Five, View Askew Productions. Today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz has me wondering what to do about that. Listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #037 - See Zack and Miri

Long-time Kevin Smith/View Askew fans will appreciate how awesomely fitting it is that the topic of Geek Force Utterz #037 is Smith’s latest flick, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. In today’s episode, I talk about why you should see the flick if you haven’t already. You can listen in via the embed above or by visiting Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #033 - Zack and Miri Box Office

Zack and Miri Make a Porno came in second-place at the box office this weekend, behind only the third installment of the behemoth High School Musical franchise. In today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz, I talk a bit about what I believe might very well be one of the biggest openings for a Kevin Smith film ever. And then I get cut off, thanks to either bad cell phone coverage, bad luck, or both. (More about the bad luck at the beginning of the call.)

If you’d like to listen to what I managed to record before the ax of cell phone dead-space came down, you can listen via the embed above or listen right on Utterli.com.

Geek Force Utterz #032 - Zack and Miri Thoughts

On Saturday afternoon, November 1, I took some time off from grading papers to schlep on down to the local multiplex for a showing of Kevin Smith’s latest film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. This episode of Geek Force Utterz is all about my initial reactions to what I think will go down as Smith’s most successful film to date. As always, the call is embedded above for your listening pleasure. And if you can hear it there, don’t fret: it’s available directly on Utterli.com, too.

Geek Force Utterz #026 - Getting Busy

I recorded today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz this morning on my way to back-to-back doctors’ appointments. It’s maybe a bit more babbley than usual, but definitely worth a listen. I talk about why you should be watching the Making of Zack and Miri Make a Porno videos that Kevin Smith and company are putting out and about why things might be kind of slow around here over the next week.

Can’t see/hear the embed above? Listen to the call on Utterli.com instead.

Geek Force Utterz #025 - Entertainment as Reward

In today’s episode of Geek Force Utterz, I talk about why I’m happy that new episodes of Lost won’t premiere until late January or early February. And if you can’t see/hear the embed above, and you absolutely have to hear what I’ve got to say on this matter, remember that you can listen to this call over at Utterli.com, too.

Zack and Miri Can’t Remember My Birthday

Kevin Smith’s struggles with the MPAA continue, and I’m getting more and more aggravated by what’s going down.

This week, you see, Smith and company launched a “Making Of” series for Zack and Miri Make a Porno. This is the same kind of thing that the View Askew crew (along with Chop Shop Entertainment’s Zak Knutson and Joey Figueroa) put together for Clerks II, and it’s already turning out to be just as awesome. There’s only one problem though, and that’s the annoying age verification form that I need to fill out every single time I watch an episode!!!

Last week, our friends over at News Askew broke the story on how the MPAA was refusing to let even Web-only documentaries fly below its radar now. But, even when I read that piece, I had no idea that the Association was going to go to such draconian lengths to keep us from enjoying what Knutson and Figueroa had put together.

There has got to be a way (a cookie, or something) to allow me to enter my birthday only once per visit, but I’m guessing that just wouldn’t have been kosher with the morality police. So, instead, I have to go through the same rigmarole every damn time. And I’m telling you, the idea may be to deter kids from watching these “naughty” videos but it’s going to end up deterring me and other busy, law-abiding adults instead. Kids’ll sit there and come up with a dozen different birthdays (they aren’t stupid, and they’ve got plenty of time), but I have shit to do.

“How does fake poo warrant an NC-17?”

Earlier this month, Salon’s Stephanie Zacharek interviewed Kevin Smith at the Toronto Film Festival. The broad topic, of course, was the TFF premiere of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but what’s really great about the interview is when they get into the specific topic of the NC-17 appeals process. I’ve written previously about one of the scenes that the MPAA was demanding that Smith trim, but it turns out there was an even more “disturbing” shot that had to be dealt with, this one involving, well, poo.

Zacharek explains:

[T]he MPAA expressed its extreme displeasure with several scenes in the movie, including what Smith blithely refers to as “the shit shot.” (To explain it here would give too much away, so all you need to know is that the gag involves an unusual camera angle and—I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.)

And later, Smith elaborates on how things went down:

...for the shit shot, I cited “Trainspotting,” when they whip the sheet, and the shit goes all over the family. And I also cited “Jackass,” which was a weird pull, but it was congruous to some degree, because I said, “Look, when ‘Jackass’ was an MTV show, there were tons of articles about how kids were imitating it, and winding up hurting themselves. Then it became a movie, an R-rated movie, in which there’s a sequence called the Fart Helmet, where Steve-o is wearing this bubble helmet on his head, with a hose attached to it with a funnel. And his buddy’s farting into the funnel, which goes into the headpiece, and Steve-o starts throwing up. Then his friend shits into the funnel, and you see it at one point.” And I’m like, “‘Jackass’ is more of a documentary than anything else. What they’re doing is real. That got an R. Clearly, what we did is unreal. It’s fake poo all the way. And how does fake poo warrant an NC-17, versus real poo getting an R?”

Somehow that worked. They flipped it. We left the room, and about five minutes later they came out and said that we won.

Honestly, every new bit of information that I learn about why the MPAA gave Kevin so much of a hassle this time around makes the whole thing seem even more ridiculous to me. Okay, so there’s a shot involving poop. And there’s a sex scene between Jason Mewes and Katie Morgan that’s a little more than over-the-top. But this is the same ratings board that gave Clerks II, with its donkey show, an R right out of the gate. And it’s the same committee that, as Elizabeth Banks so eloquently put it, routinely grants Rs to movies “about people cutting off each other’s limbs and blood gushing everywhere.” What is the big deal?

It’s all about the title, isn’t it? Had this movie been called anything else, I’m guessing it wouldn’t have gotten nearly as much shit for it’s shit scene (and its sex scenes) as it has.

Oh well. The nice thing about all the press that’s coming out about the film now is that the reviews have been uniformly positive. So that’s good. I can’t wait for October 31 to get here, so that I can see for myself what all the fuss is about. How about you?