Coming To My Senses
Editor’s Note: This article concludes GF5’s April Fool’s Day Joke for 2008.
Well, I’m here now to admit that one day of blunt honesty was all I could stomach. I’m not sure that I’m ready yet to loudly, proudly, and daily proclaim my love for Hannah Montana, Tyra Banks, and all the rest. As you can see, I’ve undone the site’s temporary metamorphosis and gotten back to the basics (and to the far less eye-raping green hue). Today, it’s back to news and views on Nine Inch Nails and Lost and on all of those other things that I claim to love more than my one true love, Mister Ryan Seacrest.
P.S. If you loved the logo from yesterday, or if you just missed it, click here to relive the magic.
Geek Force FiveCast 007 (Video)
Episode seven of the Geek Force FiveCast finds me geeking out about April Fools Day and the lack of high-quality Website pranks this year.
If you’d like, you can subscribe to the show as a podcast via PodShow.com.
Ryan Seacrest To Host Three-Way
Editor’s Note: In case the date-stamp didn’t make it clear, this article was part of GF5’s April Fool’s Day Joke for 2008.
Ryan Seacrest will host a special three-way American Idol competition, Geek Force super-spies have learned. The competition will be between Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, and Elizabeth Banks, each of whom has made a splash in the music industry this year with their “I’m Fucking So-and-So” songs. Silverman, of course, started the trend with “I’m Fucking Matt Damon.” Kimmel shot back at Silverman with “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck.” And Banks trumped the both of them by proclaiming loudly and proudly, “I’m Fucking Seth Rogen.”
Producers are in talks with Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Paula Abdul to reprise their roles as absolutely horrid judges of American musical talent.
Topics: View Askew
Tyra and Janice Team Up for New ‘Get a Mac’ Ad Campaign
Editor’s Note: In case the date-stamp didn’t make it clear, this article was part of GF5’s April Fool’s Day Joke for 2008.
Geek Force insiders have learned that renaissance woman Tyra Banks and her former America’s Next Top Model cohort Janice Dickinson will join forces to collaborate on a new series of “Get a Mac” ads for Apple, Inc. It is unknown at this time whether or not “Get a Mac” vets John Hodgman and Justin Long will be included in the clips, but the plot synopsis our spies have uncovered details a scenario wherein Janice Dickinson, playing the part of the PC, becomes so flustered with Vista that she downgrades to Windows 3.1. Tyra Banks, playing the part of the Mac, insults the decrepit supermodel by telling her that she’s so old her 286-running ass couldn’t even boot Windows 95, and that she should just stop lying to herself about “downgrades” and accept that she belongs in a museum. Rumor has it that the first honest-to-goodness catfight in Apple advertising history will ensue.
Topics: Apple
Heidi Montag to Star in New Marvel Comic: THE INCREDIBLE IMPLANTS
Editor’s Note: In case the date-stamp didn’t make it clear, this article was part of GF5’s April Fool’s Day Joke for 2008.
Insiders at Marvel Comics tell us that reality television celebrity and twenty-something musical genius Heidi Montag will continue her quest for world domination by starring in an upcoming comic book entitled The Incredible Implants.
“Joey Q, (Joe Quesada, Marvel’s editor-in-chief), couldn’t be more excited about this idea,” writes our inside source. “He’s running around the office telling people that this has never been done, that Montag’s character is going to be the biggest thing since Dazzler, and certainly a bigger hit than the Jenna Jameson-inspired Shadow Hunter that Virgin Comics is putting out.”
Montag’s superpowers will apparently be derived from her breast implants. They will apparently be laced with adamantium, the same indestructible metal which is bonded to popular Marvel hero Wolverine’s skeleton, and will also, apparently, be bombarded by gamma radiation, the same energy source which brought the Incredible Hulk to life.
“Her boobs are going to act as both armor-plating and as projectile energy weapons,” says our man inside. “This one is going to be a real winner.”
